Days 53-59 (Apr. 5-11): You Don't Own Me! And Other Tales Post-Resignation

Wow, the difference between the week before this one and the week I am about to tackle is staggering! So here that goes:

Day Fifty-Three (Monday, Apr. 5)
As mentioned at the beginning of the last post, I now have a former-boss. I've still never been fired though, thankfully.

As I said, my boss essentially gave me an ultimatum on Thursday, April Fools Day; and it was no prank. He told me that if I didn't accept the full-time position, it was okay because he would find someone else to take the position in addition to my working there. Yeah...When you work somewhere for a few months, you get a feel for Image vs. The Real Man.

Image: He was trying to seem easy going.
The Real Man: He had no intention of letting me stay if I didn't take his "offer."

Almost immediately on Monday, he asked me to come into his office before our daily "meeting" between the 3 of us in the office. I knew this was the moment I had been preparing a speech for lol. We went in there, and I asked him to go over the main points of my new position if I took it. He told me that I would have to do whatever he wanted me to do, no matter what. (Um, sexual innuendo much?) Then I asked if I would be getting a pay raise and benefits this time around. He was visibly upset about that, and said no, not until I proved myself. (Sounds reasonable right? Nah...last time he said that to either me or my co-worker, he renigged and...well, I'll stop the rant right there.)

Instead of going the route of telling him off, the way I had planned (and every employee who hates his/her job plans), I played the affable card. I told him I didn't think we were a good fit for each other. It soon came to the point of my asking if he wanted me to stay for 2 more weeks while he looked for my replacement, but he said no. I said I'd leave after the day was over but he said I might as well leave then. (Nicely of course...)

So, he paid me my remaining paycheck, I cleaned out my area, and we signed the resignation papers. I hugged my co-worker and was out of there. I left by 10:30am or so.

Though I'm somewhat bitter about my old boss, I'm sooooo happy to be out of there! It was toxic on far too many levels! Not only that but he's a dirty old man (who doesn't think he's old) who has no common sense. (When the internet was down after a bad storm, he said he would fix it, then proceeded to ask me where the antennae was. I put on my best poker face when I compassionately said that I "didn't think" there was one, while trying not to make him feel stupid.) From now on, I'm going to interview my prospective bosses to be sure that when they tell me, "You're going to be in charge of editorial tasks alone" they mean it. I think I will get it in writing too.

Anyway, before I went home to celebrate my departure with my Mom, I went to the library to get some movies. Among them were Confessions of a Shopaholic which I TOTALLY recommend! I didn't originally want to see it because the trailers were sooooo bad! It's not all about shopping but is far better! I now love that actress. (Plus, the guy has an accent in it and is incredibly attractive! That never hurts.) More on that movie's impact on me later.

When I walked in the door, my Mom and I hugged and rejoiced over my being free from Omar. (My parents were completely supportive of my decision.) She then told me that to celebrate, she was going to take us to our favorite sushi joint: Shinju.

It was a perfect mother-daughter outing. I loved our conversation and the food was incredible, of course. She also took me to Kohls to treat me to what is now my favorite Sunday outfit. She is an indescribably wonderful and generous mom and I'm so glad we got to spend time together.

Later that day, I went home and watched both High School Musical 3 (Don't start) and Confessions of a Shopaholic. The waltz scene in HSM 3 still steals my heart and takes my breath away, as do many of the other scenes. Wow, if there are any guys reading this, feel free to ask me to take waltz dance classes with you ;)

Anyway, "Confessions" was far better than I'd anticipated. I only rented it because my parents saw it last year and raved about it. They said it was about a young woman who is in journalism and that the romantic storyline was good. And it definitely was! Obviously, the main character, Rebecca Bloomberg, is addicted to shopping. It defines her. With that said, there's a scene where she and her dad (played by John Goodman) are talking about how to get her out of her financial rut. He offers to sell his prized possession: His trailer, which he and his wife sold everything else for to buy. Here's an excerpt from that scene, which deeply moved me:

Rebecca Bloomberg: "No daddy! You can't [sell it]! That trailer defines you completely! Completely!!"
Mr. Bloomberg: "Nothing defines me. Only you and your mother [do]."

After the scene came to an end, I put the movie on pause and went to the balcony with my ipod. I took time to think about what it is that I let define me. Sadly, facebook is one of those things. So, I made the drastic decision to deactivate my facebook account for 3 months. I made the announcement to my folks before I wrote one of my last facebook updates, telling people that I was terminating it in 2 days. Haha and I got soooo many responses right off the bat, including by facebook, email, text message, and phonecall. It was very flattering and a fun way to go off.

Day Fifty-Four (Tuesday, Apr. 6)
In a continued celebration of my post-resignation, I spent most of the day outside. I think I was out there for 7 hours. Haha, and the flattery continued when several people kept texting me about my "disturbing" decision to quit facebook for awhile. The funny thing is that it was from people who teased me endlessly about how much time I spent on there.

I finally replied back to some people comments, saying how these reactions reminded me of a funeral wherein I get to hear what people think of me lol.

Besides the beach, I slept most of the day, which was INCREDIBLY nice! Thank you Omar!

Day Fifty-Five (Wednesday, Apr. 7)
Jaclyn introduced me to hummus on soft pita bread. She came over for a swim, later met my parents, then we had appetizers at the Greek restaurant right by me. I have never wanted to try the stuff, but it was good! As usual, she built me up thoroughly, as is second nature for her to do to everyone she comes in contact with. She's just that kind of (wonderful) person.

Obviously, I wrote a little bit back how much an impact March 31st made on me. I had at least 3 huge epiphanies and since then have been learning and applying major things in my life. For example, I realized that I wasn't ready to move out quite yet. I dreaded telling my once-future-roommate about this, but Alli was so sweet and understanding. I called her up after Jaclyn left and sat on the beach while I told her I had to back out. *Sigh* I'm so thankful for her gracious reaction though, and since then, we've only gotten closer as friends.

The moment I'd been warning about finally came upon me at 9pm. I deactivated my account.

I had often contemplated doing this very thing, but never had actually done it, so when I did, it felt good! It actually did; I knew I was doing the right thing. Imagine, *gasp!* people would find out from ME, rather than my status updates, what I'm up to. Haha, not that I'm hating on people who have facebook; I'm just making fun of my own use of it prior to this act.

Day Fifty-Six (Thursday, Apr. 8)
One of the reasons I quit facebook was to spend less time in front of the laptop screen. Therefore, I went outside and spent a lot of time tanning on the beach, reading by the pool, snacking on snacks from the cafe, and listening to my ipod in the hot tub. Oh. My. Gosh. It was so therapeutic.

I had some great forms of digital communication. There was texting with Erin and Jim; then Julie emailed me to tell me she'd talked to her sister Dianne about me. Dianne is an editor in Boston, so I was excited about hearing from her. I definitely appreciated it. During our texting, Jim agreed to host a spontaneous Arrested Development marathon for whoever I invited to come.

I had a great phone conversation with my college friend Micheal, who never fails to cheer me up and encourage me. It was so great exchanging advice and updates, and I was soooo excited that he might visit me later on this summer!!!!

The best part? I didn't even have to use facebook to make all these friend connections ;)

Day Fifty-Seven (Friday, Apr. 9)
I wanted to be sure I did not start my day with technology, so I ate breakfast on the balcony as I read the Bible and wrote out my thoughts. It was the perfect start to the day. There's such a huge difference starting it that way versus the internet, like I too often do, ugh.

So, after taking advantage of the beach and hot tub, I got a great email from Julie's sister Dianne, giving me advice about how to get into publishing. Then, I chatted with Pete via gchat about the Arrested Development marathon. Oh man, if he weren't overseas, it would have been so cool to have him there, what with his many ideas to spice up the party. For instance, he said anyone who made their car so it could handle hop-ons should win a contest or that I should provide prison jumpsuits. I was tempted to bring a journal that read "Bob Loblaw's Law Blog" for people to write their favorite references in (but didn't). So, though I knew I wouldn't bring timosil to relax people, wear fake eyebrows that fall off at times, or offer massages, I was excited about the marathon.

But I was even more excited about that night because Erin invited me to go out dancing, saying she'd pick me up, since I didn't have a car. So, later that night, she, Liz, and Jon came to pick me up and we met Veer and some of his friends at downtown Fort Lauderdale for drinks. I got some great advice from Jon about one of my options for the future. Then we went to Off the Hookah to dance! And oh. My. Gosh. It was so fun! After watching a belly dancer do her thing, we five finally started dancing. I didn't think I was in the mood to dance, but as it turns out, I was very wrong. I had SO much fun. I danced for all but 10 minutes; and we were there until 2am. LOL and my "boyfriend" came outta nowhere...Right Erin?

But all good things must come to an end, so Liz and I took off, ate some subs, then yelled at some guys who were cat-calling us. One of my favorites was, "We're God's creations! We're someone's daughters!" LOL it was oddly fun.

Day Fifty-Eight (Saturday, Apr. 10)
The day was filled with mixed events and emotions. There was no beach, but full on sun poisoning, the Arrested Development (AD) marathon & Bluth Bananas, as well as a wake up call.

It's funny how everyday BUT Saturday seemed to be sunny out. Oh well, it was just as well since I got sun poisoning. LOL apparently that's what happens when you spend far too much time in the sun without applying sunscreen more than once. Who knew?

The AD fest was fun, especially since Jaclyn made Bluth Bananas for everyone. (I'm talking melted Ghirardelli chocolate and colored sprinkles, then put in the freezer for that X-factor touch.) There were those who had never seen AD before and others who were devoted fans. Before I got there, Jim offered to order 3 pizzas for people. What a great host! That was the perfect addition because some people hadn't eaten dinner.

As was the theme since March 31st, I had more convictions, revelations, and wake-up calls. (Yes, I realize they're all pretty much the same thing; but these various happenings felt so diverse.) Around 10:30, the marathon came to an end, and I just felt compelled to drive up and down AIA for about an hour with the top down on my dad's car, and listening to both rock and heartwarming music. It was SO therapeutic. It was partly to reflect on a phone conversation I had earlier in the day with a friend.

Have you ever had a lesson-waiting-to-be-learned stare you straight in the face one day? It's like I'd been aware of this one particular truth for most of my life, but it actually only came alive after talking to this friend. The moment I realized what I had been blinding myself to, it was like everything had changed for me. I started contemplating various next-step ventures, which were really exciting.

I mentioned Ugly Betty for my first blogpost, and that show again becomes very applicable. The second to last episode (ever!) made an impression on me. (Oh, and DO NOT read the following paragraph if you haven't seen it and want to see still.)

In this episode, Betty and Henry, her first love reunite for Hilda and Bobby's wedding. He was moving back to New York for a big-shot job. However, Betty was offered an opportunity to move to London to start a magazine ("A New Yorker with a younger voice") with one of the world's top magazine publishers. But, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. Well, Henry has a young son and on their breakfast date, they clashed, oddly enough. While considering a relationship with Henry again, Betty's good friend Daniel Meade got mad at her for moving backwards in her life. She was trying to force things.

That episode sobered me up, because though it doesn't fully apply to me, it did remind me that I was putting things on hold for one reason or another. I once passed up studying overseas in Thailand my junior year in college. My reason? I wanted to be with my friends. *Sigh* I regret that decision from time to time. I'm not saying it was the absolute wrong choice, but I was far too in the moment. Now, I have about 5 different opportunities to pursue amazing next-step options for my life. They're all very diverse and no doors have been shut yet. I'm praying and trying to decipher what it is that God wants me to do. Ugh, I wish I were better at doing that.

Day Fifty-Nine (Sunday, Apr. 11)
It was a far more low-key day of good things (and no bad things, in case you thought I meant there was mostly bad things).

Church was incredible. I'm always blown away by the humble sermons that Pastor Tullian delivers, and that was especially true of this day's sermon. I took 6 pages of notes, and wanted to share a few key moments in the sermon.

"Most people reject the Gospel because they think Christianity is all about rules, regulations, and cleaning yourself up. They might think they're not good enough."

"A lot of people think Christianity is about a good Man preaching to good people so they can become better people."

"We often think repentance is repenting when we do something really bad. But not only must we repent of our dirty rags, but we have to repent of our 'good deeds' or so-called righteousness. Even the good things we do are not as good as we think. We need to repent of our goodness as well as our badness."


Yes, the above seems odd. If I have any readers, it's possible I got a few "booooo"'s. But Tullian had such great points. It can partly be summed up by the following:


"Get people innoculated by letting them think they can be good, polite people. You don't need God for that...They have enough of a good thing to be immune from hearing Jesus preached. Anyone can be 'good'."

"Legalism says we gain approval by upholding certain values and standards. Whether you're performing to be good for God OR the world, it's still you relying on you! When we do this, we are trying to do it on our own."

"We know the world is chaos and devastation, so we impose legalistic expectations on ourselves and others so as to avoid the chaos and pain."

"We are all guilty of adding to Jesus. (i.e. We need Jesus AND success. We need Jesus AND others.)"

"Rules make us feel safe. Therefore it becomes our substitute God."

"Don't let your standards become your shackles, because when you do, you kill your relationship with Christ."


Just stop to think about some of that. My pastor was right on and spoke so much needed truth for me. Afterwards, a big group of us went to Panera Bread for lunch. I had intended to go home for lunch, but am glad I changed my plans. It was so good socializing with friends after a great sermon. Nothing of real note happened there, but I was happy. I love these people. One of my favorite things is that when people say goodbye, it's like you're parting ways for a month, what with the hearty hugs and goodbyes. It easily makes one feel like a celebrity. I love it :)

Haha, I also have to thank Karl for helping me discover yet another reason to love Neil Patrick Harris: "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." I did this while researching some publishing houses in the country and also chatting on gmail with Andrea who was still out of the country for her job.

So, that was my homage to my freedom from my former employer, Omar.

Laurs, out.