Day 89 (Tuesday, May 11): My Golden "Birthday"

Day Eighty-Nine: My Golden "Birthday"

I am both proud and ashamed to admit that I became a Christian 11 years ago on May 11th, 1999 at 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night. It was after a fight with my brother back when I was in 8th grade. I have never been one to be good about going to bed early, and that night was no exception. I was reading when my brother Scotty came in to lecture me about staying up. (While he, of course, was awake telling me this, lol.) We fought a lot as kids and that night it was more of the same. When he left, I started talking to God. I told Him that I was tired of having NO control over my life, and that I wanted Him to take over. Simple as that. 

From that moment on, there were a lot of changes in my life, including my own physical appearance, desire to be outgoing, and ability to take stands (against people who tried to cheat off my work in school, etc.). I was also distinctly less lonely. I talked to God nonstop! It was so wonderful. 

I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. However, I have also been very self-indulgent and self-centered. I'm not really being harsh; just stating a statement of fact. I have never really served others on a grand scale or in an ongoing or significant way. That's why I finally listened to God's quiet whisper telling me to get involved in my church and community. The day before, I emailed several ministries at my church, asking them about their department, including prison ministry, nursing home outreach and some others. By the end of the day, I decided to get involved with the Heart2Heart Senior Outreach in Fort Lauderdale at Manor Oaks. My Mom has a heart for the elderly, and after she made a case for doing that, and I spent some time thinking more about it, I realized it was the best ministry for me. I spent 3 summers in the nursing home with my Grandpa and my heart goes out to lonely residents who don't get visitors. 

This was a BIG day for me on several levels. I had been praying for a couple weeks about where God wanted me and what He wanted me to do. Back in January, I had started making my prayers more specific, based on a passage I read in Genesis as well as some encouragement from my brother. So, on Friday, April 30th, I asked God for a couple specific things: 1) Where was I supposed to be? (Korea, on a cruise ship, grad school, doing a publishing house internship for the summer, or stay in Florida.) 2) Please get me some income. I asked that He would reveal and provide for me by May 11. 

2 hours after that initial prayer, I got a call from a photographer named Rosina. I vaguely knew her through Monica (a photographer I used to work with), but had never worked with her or tried to. She asked me if I wanted to help her for a few hours on Sunday. Her assistant had backed out on her and she really needed someone for the Bat Mitzveh. She offered me a really good rate per hour, but quite honestly, even if she hadn't I would have been there. It was crazy how fast God answered and blessed me with that!!!! 

So, that was back on April 30th. Fast forward to May 11th when she called me last minute to help her with a beach photoshoot. It was planned during the time of my Bible study group, which I absolutely LOVE going to and being part of. So, my dilemma was whether to skip "church" (of sorts) for work. Rosina was in a bad spot since her assistant had again cancelled on her last minute. I didn't get back to her but consulted a few wise people about what to do. Val told me that it sounded like a good thing to do, as did my Mom. 

My friend Karl put it simply: Do you want to learn about the Bible or apply it? 

Wow. 

I called to tell Rosina I'd be there. And I'm so glad I did! Not only did we get done in time for me to make it to Bible study group, but I got my answer from God because of it! Plus, I got to spend over an hour on the beach with an adorable little girl in honor of her first communion. It was so fun because not only did I provide lighting, but Rosina had me tell Cassie how to pose! It was so fun showing her some jumps, carefree motions, etc. She seemed to like me too. And the weather was PERFECT! 

After the shoot was over, I told Rosina that I'd love to help out in any capacity, no matter how mundane it was. She told me that I was the kind of assistant she's been looking for, for awhile now. She said she liked my enthusiasm, rapport, and work ethic and that she'd love to use me more. She did put it out there that she needed to know if I'd be here for awhile or not, because she had once invested herself in a woman who flaked out and left her without any notice. I told Rosina that if I had a reason to stay in Florida, I would. She wants to build up her business and make her studio more well-known and would like me to help her. Wow!!!

As I said, I got to go to Bible study group too! It was so good on every level. We talked about who our neighbor is. Afterwards, I talked with an elderly man in our group about the prison ministry he's involved in. It was so nice talking to him for most of the post-Bible study and to really talk through what ministry I wanted to get involved in. However, as I already mentioned, I decided on the senior home ministry, and am sure that I made the right choice.

On the way home from Bible study group, I talked to my brother on the phone. Scotty said he thought I'd made the right decision to stay in Florida. He said that working with Rosina seemed perfect for me and that since it came out of nowhere, I should really run with it, the way I decided I should too. He said he thinks its great that I am going to help Rosina build up her business. 

I love my brother for several reasons, and his sense of humor and wisdom is certainly 2 of the reasons why. He hilariously pointed out that Mom and all her family had fled from Korea, and here I wanted to go there for a year. He said that I should instead save up some money and go there sometime (since I've never been there), and if I love it that much, go work there for a year then. (My friend Danny had basically said the exact same thing. How wise the people in my life are.) 

Lastly, I decided to reactivate my facebook account to practice moderation. It was fun taking a break for a little bit over a month, but it was definitely good to be back. I enjoyed the welcome back, as well as seeing some updates on friends all over the country. It just seemed like the perfect day to come back to facebook. 

Days 86-88 (May 8-10): Beach, Softball, Jupiter and the One Year Mark!

So, I did it again lol. Just as I was on the brink of catching up in my blog, I got preoccupied with life and stopped updating. Grr. But I guess it's good that so much has been happening. Wow, a whole heck of a lot has changed in about a months' time. So, whether you're ready for a long-winded post about some of my many adventures or not, here I go!

Shout-Out: 

Jennifer! You are so sweet and encouraging! I still smile in fondness at the recent conversation we had about how tired you were of seeing May 10 as the last time I'd updated!!! You're such a major cheerleader in my life and I love you!!!! So, these next set of catch up sessions are thanks to you! You got the ball rolling and I appreciate it tons! 

Day Eighty-Five (Saturday, May 8)
Oh wow, this was such a great day! Pretty much perfect. My friend Val came over and we talked for a couple hours on the beach before going up for some lunch at the poolside cafe. The staff was so good! I really appreciate the people who work at my condo because they're always so cheerful, professional, personable, and gracious. Since neither of us had money, they let us get the food and told me I could pay later. Wow! Then, Val paid me back enough for both of our meals! She's so sweet and generous! It meant a lot to me and I'm so blessed with generous friends like her!

After lunch, Val and I sat by the pool overlooking the ocean and chatted. It's so fun hanging out with her, and certainly relaxing during our time together that day. Oh man, it was so gorgeous out!

Sadly, Emma was supposed to come over to the beach. She had initially invited me to go with her to the beach, but then I said she should join my friend (Val) and I at the beach. She was going to, until she found out her car had a flat tire. What an annoying thing to happen on a beautiful Saturday!

After Val left around 1:30, I took a 3-hour nap, and completely slept through a thunderstorm, haha. I didn't even know it'd stormed out until I later rejoined Val and her sister-in-law Risa at the church softball game. I must say though, I like thunderstorms! I think they're cozy, as long as I'm not out driving in it.

So, as I said, I went to the softball game. It was the last one and a lot of different teams were there playing multiple games at a time. I ran into a lot of friends, like Scott and Zach who were both playing in a game. It was really nice out and there was some good food! I didn't watch the game so much as I took lots of goofy pictures with Val and Risa.

Awww, they're so cute! 

Ferocious growl? 

Monkey picking at Val's hair. LOVE her expression here!

The other cool part of that time was when a friend I hadn't heard from in awhile called me up to see if I wanted to hang out since he was in the area (versus Boca Raton). I gave him a "we'll see" answer and teased him that he wouldn't call like he said later on. I didn't end up being able to, but he surprisingly held up his end of the bargain and called to see if I could go. Despite not being able to go, it was still nice to not always be the one to plan things with my friends, but to be the one who is invited.

Furthermore, I saw a (really hot) guy who seemed familiar to me, but who I couldn't place until he was walking away. It was the guy who I'd seen at the New Year's party this year. He happens to look, or at least remind me of, David Boreanuex (sp?) from Bones (or Buffy the Vampire Slayer). I never have talked to him, but admittedly, I asked about him, haha. And he was sitting nearby for quite awhile and I didn't take advantage of it again! Grr. Oh well, it's probably just as well since I'm trying not to be so forward with guys in general. At the very least, it was a fun treat for the eyes for him to be there, lol. (Sorry; I sometimes channel my inner junior high self.)

After the game, I went home and spent time with my parents. I'm in love with the movie He's Just Not That Into You and have been wondering if my parents would like it or not. I'd hoped they would, and sure enough, they really liked it when we watched it later that night.

While I was watching the movie with my folks, I got a call from a woman I'd met in March. We'd planned on working together on book editing projects. She made a lot of ambitious claims, promises, and ideas, but never ever ever followed through on them. Not in the 2 months that we'd been in contact! I got fed up and wrote an email saying I didn't think we should work together. She called me within 48 hours asking me to reconsider. I got it in a voicemail. It was interesting that she actually tried to pursue me. I say "interesting" because when I proposed a contract that would protect both her and me, she never got back to me. (She had proposed a way-too-simple contract with low low pay, which is why I rebutted with my own contract with much fairer rates. That is what she never replied to. Good riddance I say. I just wish I woulda proposed that earlier and scared her off before I'd wasted all that time and energy on her. Oh well; live and learn.)

Day Eighty-Six (Sunday, May 9)

In honor of Mother's Day, we went to Jupiter to celebrate with our close family friends, the Shoemakers. They have a fantastic church that I always enjoy attending, so even though I hate missing my own church service, it's a good substitute, if I have to have one at all. 

Afterwards, we went to an "atmospheric" restaurant called Sailfish. The food honestly wasn't that impressive (the way people kept saying it would be), but it was still fun being together. Plus I had a (virgin) pina colada, which always makes things a little bit better. 

 

Afterwards, we went outside and posed with a blue pelican statue. Haha, surprisingly, it was all due to my cute mom, and not by my leading! 

In honor of 2 wonderful moms! 

Dad is so cute here! (Mom too, come to think of it.) 

There were 3 or 4 people sitting on benches across from the pelican who were really outgoing and encouraging. They kept applauding our "creativity" and cuteness. Haha, I love people!

Before we left for the Shoemaker's home. 

We spent the rest of the day at the Shoemaker residence. As usual, it was cozy, comfortable, and fun. We snacked and watched Old Dogs (which we'd checked out of Blockbuster video).

Afterwards, we ate dinner and then they offered to email a friend about our house (back in IL) since she likes good real estate deals. I tell ya, that family is always giving of themselves and trying to do anything to help us out, whether we're in need or just want something, haha.

I also had to say how cute and appreciated it was when Jaclyn texted me, telling me she wanted to take me out for coffee sometime that week. Awwww! I love initiators! It makes me feel so loved, because they (being friends in general) could be thinking about anyone, but they happened to be thinking about me and wanting to spend time with me.

I'm ashamed to say that at the end of the night, I kinda lost my cool. It was weird and just stupid of me. I embarrassed myself and my parents and I wish I could take it back. So, on the way home, my folks said some very true things about me while I listened. I actually listened to the very true things they were saying about me, and later apologized in a very sincere way. I'm so grateful for my wise parents who tell me things that I need to hear. And they, as they always do, forgave me immediately.

Day Eighty-Seven (Monday, May 10)

This day marked ONE YEAR since I stepped off a plane from Chicago, IL and became a Floridian. It was such a good day too. Not only did I revel at all the major changes in my life in a year's time, but I had some major convictions. 

During my Bible study with God, I realized quite a few painful things about myself. For example, I stopped ignoring how pathetic it is that I've been a Christian for almost 11 years and I haven't ever really been involved in a ministry. I decided it was time to start serving God and people. If I'm being completely honest, I've lazily been waiting around for some sort of lightning bolt sign of what ministry to commit to. I realized that it was time I just used my brain to finally decide on something! God gives us common sense after all. Think about this: Jesus spent most of His time (once He got into ministry) going from town to town telling stories, healing people, and living among the poor, needy, fatherless, and hated people of society. That was His ministry, and up 'til now, the most I've been able to say about myself is that I don't do drugs...which of course should be a given.

I love when God convicts me and am so thankful that He's so patient. Far too patient with me actually, haha. Thank God He is!!!

Another thing worth noting is my conversation with the Florida Peach Publishing president named Michele. She had contacted me back in March (as I think I've mentioned/vented about a few times) but hadn't really followed through on anything. She mostly just called me to tell me she'd soon do it, and never ever ever did. (Except the one time when she finally emailed me all of 2 pages of a book intro.) She had a lot of pretty words, but no action to show for it. So, as I also mentioned, I finally emailed her my frustration (politely worded of course) and basically resigned. She'd called me back, and I finally got back to calling her back. It was an interesting conversation...She again made a lot of hefty promises and said she wanted to work with me. She said she'd send me a contract the next day, which she did actually do, for once. That's where the good stuff ends, because it was a completely terrible contract offer, and so I replied by sending her one that actually paid me a FAIR price and protected both of us legally. (She offered to pay me $350 for 200 pages or more. That's less than 1 cent per word, and only $1.75 per page IF it's 200 pages. She was proposing I take that same amount for MORE than 200 pages. She must think I'm stupid...) I've done a lot of research and the least amount editors take is $0.02 per word. Sometimes they charge $0.10 per word.

Spoiler: I never heard back from her again. (Which means no more wasted times or hopes that were constantly raised with no fruition.)

Let me take you back to the phonecall we had. I'm dwelling on this because it's a strong example of how I've grown and come to respect myself.

For the 2 months we talked on the phone, I had always been super energetic, upbeat, and pleasant. But during this conversation, I was more grounded, calm-toned, and way less energetic. I wasn't as open or cheerful either, but just very business-like. Though I absolutely DETEST awkward moments or making anyone feel uncomfortable, I knew I had to show her I meant business and not just let her use nice words to sway me. I was definitely nice and civil, but there was definite tension. I could tell she wasn't used to this side of me. And it killed me, to be honest. She told me some exciting things, like that she had signed 15 more players over the weekend and wanted me to edit all their books. I didn't react excitedly as I usually would, because, she'd done this before with no action. Near the end, I politely asked her (for the 11th time) for a sit down meeting so we could get things sorted out. As I told her at one point, it'd been 2 months, so...But Michele just claimed to have been busy and that's why. Sigh...

Again, I mention this because it's a sign of my personal improvement. I usually am so desperate to make everyone feel good and to eliminate any tension whatsoever, that I laugh a lot and calm people's nerves, or whatever. Not that time. I politely stood my ground and kept reality in mind. And it's a good thing I did too. I only need to work for "an Omar" once ever. Michele might have been even worst than he was! So I'm glad I'm out of that situation.

When we talked on the phone, I didn't apologize for my straight-forward email but said that I didn't think it was fair to be told these things and not even have a contract.